'If you touch me one more time, I will boil water and burn you!'
Mercy couldn't believe that those words had uttered from her mouth. She now lay there thinking back into the moment it had all happened.
It all happened in the blink of an eye. This wasn't what she had signed up for.
Like a shot she had been pulled from one side of the bed; her head strangled; left cheek clapped, right cheek clapped & she could not help but feel how it was excruciatingly painful to think of, even after long having left that situation. She started sobbing questioning herself what had happened?
After being clapped like that she remembered putting her hands in front of her face as she tried to protect herself, he smoothly held both her hands down and he clapped her again on the left side and right side until he felt he had done damage to her cheeks.
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Couldn't he hear her screaming, what type of anger had a man? That he could physically portray his power over a woman like that? It was past 9 pm when he chased her out of his house but when he noticed the landlord's car driving out; he went back into the house acting like he was going to get a taxi number for her.
Mercy remembered walking to the shop that afternoon spending her last $100 on groceries for his house yet now she was being told to ‘Get Out’.
Out of anger Mercy pushed him onto the bed forgetting she had little strength to overpower the beast. Strangling and pulling her down she bit his face and in return he bit her arm. It all hurt so bad she screamed, 'Let me leave!’ and he just could not let her.
After standing on her two feet she grabbed the rope that was by the plug and attempted to hit him with it. Within seconds he had forcefully removed the rope from her hands to his. Mercilessly he lashed her right arm without thinking twice; he left marks on her pearl glowing skin.
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Love doesn't provoke you to sob in a corner. It doesn't put a fist through your wall. It doesn't desire to shatter any part of you, not your phone, your windows, your ambitions, your self-worth or any of your other relationships. It has no desire to isolate you. It doesn't hack into your email account. It doesn't steal your keys to force you to stay and endure further misery. It doesn't mock you as you cry.
- Lacey Johnson
Mercy got home the next day and she wondered why despite the toxicity she stayed. How come she loved a man who not only hit her aggressively like they had the same strength? The next morning after showering as she swept the floor she recalled a childhood memory where the broom was used to instill fear. Mercy remembered as a child being smashed, because, she had done wrong or the times when she was smashed to get the truth out of her. Sometimes she was trash talked - Psychologically maltreated by her own family and despite that, all the pains inflicted upon her, she would forgive them and things would go back to being normal ... but where they?
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Was what she understood as love, being smashed as punishment to be loved?
When Mercy didn't do things their way, instead of being spoken to and the issues being addressed she was smashed. At times she remembered having to endure the pain of being beat up for things she had not done or accusations of lies she had not uttered.
Excruciating pain she felt when she recalled her dad hitting her mother and being an attentive listener to the arguments they had, that always led to fights.
How come she still remembered the details? Mercy sobbed as she cried out loud, her current lover had exercised exactly what her father had done to her mother during her childhood. Now more than a decade later she found herself in love with a man who had the same belief systems which at this moment she hated to her core.
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- Faliana Lee
Author of Carving a Piece of Heaven
Talks about how she stayed in an abusive relationship believing it was better for her to stay for the good of the children not knowing that for children who witness the abuse it's as if they experience it themselves. It's because you act that way I responded that way, you know, and it's not really a big matter.
How come bad things always happen to nice/good people??
I have been so nice how come I am being treated like this? Have you ever come across people saying that statement?
Only and unless the mind is renewed it can only make you act like what you already know. The environment you grew up observing has an impact on the type of person, people, options you will become attracted to. Good people are at times generally good, or rather they are good because they have seen bad and refuse to be bad or rather try in their own way to be good. However because they don't renew their mindsets to align with their belief system there are attracted to what's already in their subconscious state – which is the bad and good they have grew up to somehow be accustomed to. Unless you renew your mind you will always return to what you only know. One of my favorite books says it best. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—HIS good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2
Have you ever asked yourself what happened to me? Why me?
How can you want to know how to answer 40×40 when all you have been taught and seen is 40+40? Therefore, unless you renew your mind you will be stuck in cycles. Experiencing the same old hurtful patterns of destruction.
Listening to Jonathan McReynolds' song on Cycles; it talks about didn't I conquer this last year? Tell me what I missed 'cause I fear. See the devil, he learns from your mistakes. Even if you don't that's how he keeps you in cycles.
Knowing the truth helps. The truth sets us free. Abuse of any kind is wrong and no matter how people try to justify it, it's wrong. If you have experienced abuse of any kind, here are a few steps you can take to help you overcome.
I think we need to help empower women who are recovering from domestic violence. Women have so much to contribute and sometimes they just need a hand to get into that position.
- Kay Schubach
Miss_Masuku Tips
1) Feed yourself with positivity; I am strong, powerful, beautiful I can and I will overcome.
2) Spend quality time with people who motivate and push you to be better.
3) Spend time in places that make you feel alive and whole again.
4) Write down the type of life and the person you see yourself becoming, keep the note and read it every morning and evening.
5) Your life is not what you want it to be today however you can take small steps daily towards how you want it to be tomorrow.
- Gee Bailey is an artist, author, domestic violence advocate and senior manager.
Since leaving an abusive relationship almost eight years ago, she says she feels calmer, happier, safer and in more control of her life. She says deciding to leave an abusive relationship can be a complicated and fraught process, and that having non-judgmental support is key to women regaining control.
It's been lovely being here, thank you for this opportunity to shed light in this area.I hope you learnt one or two things, till next time do take care.
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