“I gave them a piece of my mind!
It's their fault anyway”
Statements of justification we often tell ourselves, after we have had a confrontation or an altercation with someone. Lord knows how much we justify ourselves after situations unfold, thinking that we were in the right and that the person deserved what they got. I know this because I've also fallen prey to such behavior tendencies, countless times.
Ultimately I then really begin to wonder: Is it possible then to actually not respond to someone when they hurt you? When they say mean things to you? When they do you wrong? - Is it possible to be RATIONAL? (Do check out an article I wrote on Rationality vs Irrationality)
It is normal for our consciousness to react and consequently allow us to go through a process of introspection after certain events, cause us intentionally and sometimes unintentionally to react prior to our better judgement and behavior. It is then during this introspective period that we are hit by the "Guilt Conscious" or as I choose to say "The Guilt Trap"
Speaking from the depths of my own experiences I realized that my empathetic nature mixed with the deep introspective periods I go through allow for my conscious to work overtime! Allowing as well a mental space where I REFLECT, REGRET & strive to improve.
The hard-core truth is; everyone who has a full functioning conscious- will go through multitude lengths of overthinking, analyzing and scrutinizing their behavior and how best they want to regulate themselves.
What we all haven't mastered is the ability to do the above POSITIVELY without harming our mental health and emotional capacity. Self-analysis if used in a constructive manner is not only beneficial to YOU but also to those around you, as similarly if used negatively in a manner such as to self-criticize, regret or persecute oneself, it can be quite disastrous. The basic use of self-analysis is to ensure one is able to construct their self-perception, character and ultimately their own behavior in a healthy way.
I wrote this article some while ago - upon pondering on this subject of confrontations and the feelings that come with this scenario, most especially the feeling of GUILT.
Seemingly sometime ago while I was at school, I faced a confrontational moment, and if anyone knows me well - they know I am not the one to confront anyone as I hate confrontations, negative vibes and basically tension!
So even if a person hurt me - I have preferred over time to remove myself silently from that energy, however this has not always served me in the right as I have discovered it is a toxic trait (sometimes) - to walk away from someone or rather give them that silent, negative treatment without trying at least to understand why the situation unfolded in that manner.
Upon this awakening as always I set myself on a path to fix it - for there is nothing I love more than constantly building myself up to be better for myself and those around me.
I don't know what it is but the universe and especially God always seem to listen when one speaks up about what they want and consequently you are tested! - Tested to see if you really want, what you want! There is irony in that but the truth is we need to know that we shall always be tested for anything we hope to achieve.
As it so happened I got my test - and it was at first frightening - for I thought was it worth it to say something in that moment in time.
I was, astonished really because I handled it in a manner even I did not expect, not to brag but - it was exceptional!
I was calm throughout the whole process and even recorded the conversation just so I can always remind myself that I can if I want to; speak logically and express my feelings without provoking anyone.
Truth is sometimes people take advantage of your kindness & empathy - expecting you to remain the same even after they’ve victimized you.
& even though you want to live in harmony with almost everyone - you can only do so much but I have learned the best things you can do for yourself is not be PUSHED over & have the ability to STAND your ground assertively!
I also then learned and discovered in the past weeks after going through a deep emotional scar, that some people have a terrible tendency of wanting to be the victims in situations where they are not the victims - a tendency rooted so deep in selfishness that it is toxic to the other person & it takes courage and emotional intelligence to address such tendencies & find the courage & wisdom to move past it.
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